Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011)

I don't see where Rise of the Planet of the Apes fits in with the rest of the Planet of the Apes movies. It is supposed to be relaying the story of how the apes rose to power and became intelligent and overcame humans. But, as apparently everyone has forgotten, three of the first five Planet of the Apes movies already told us all that in great detail. This new movie differs from the original origin story so much that may as well have just called it Rise of the Evil Chimps and separated itself entirely from the franchise. The only two things that this movie actually have to do with the originals in any way are the names of two of the important animals themselves and the almost obscenely flippant utterance of Charlton Heston's immortal line, "Get your stinkin' paws off me, you damned dirty ape!" Although I wish it had served some real purpose, like, for example, telling us a little more clearly how man became mute buffoons, it is a relatively well-made and even enjoyable movie. I still have three big problems with it.

1. Somebody forgot these things were supposed to be fun! All of the original movies, even Tim Burton's remake in some ways, have been family-friendly in their thrills. This movie is far too intense for young ones. That isn't a problem in itself, except there ends up being no real point to the intensity because the film's big climax is really tame. It seems odd to me that the apes could take over the city in such a way that only three people actually get hurt, and two of them were established jerks.

2. The message got all mangled in the past four decades. Planet of the Apes has always been about anti-war sentiments, but this new movie is about the power of the underdog; that minorities need to overcome everything in their way, etc. This is odd because we end up rooting for the monsters destroying the humans. But everyone in this movie is an over-the-top evil excuse for a human being, so why not get rid of them all?

3. None of the monkeys are real, they are all computer-generated. Call me a dweeb, but I prefer the reality of the old-fashioned costumes with mouths that couldn't move. They were real and were more accessible. It is impossible for these faux realistic creatures to be convincing. This is not for lack of trying. Special effects have come a very long way, and this is about as good as it gets. I just wish that maybe they could have possibly mixed some real monkeys in with the fake ones to pull it off a little better. I guess that would've been too expensive.

Those are my major complaints. My minor ones include the odd passage of time. At one point, a screen shows up saying "Five years later," but only about five minutes of development seems to have taken place. That doesn't make sense. Also, James Franco received a lot of praise for basically giving the performance of his career last year in 127 Hours. Your Highness and this are what he picks next?

6/10