Here we have what is now the fourth outing into the tinted blue world of vampires and werewolf-like creatures called lycans, which have already been battling for ages in Underworld, Underworld: Evolution, Underworld: Rise of the Lycans, and now Underworld: Awakening. These all, except for the third, which is a prequel, star Kate Beckinsale as what is known as a Death Dealer, who has been getting revenge on her elders for being silly dumbbells. In this film, Selene, Beckinsale’s vampire character, is now trying to connect again with her recently lost lycan lover Michael with the addition of having a hybrid daughter. Sound complicated? Don’t worry, it’s just the opposite.
About two-thirds into this movie I suddenly realized that I hadn’t really been paying attention. That’s not to say that I was lost as to what was going on or that I was bored, I was just very uninterested. I have seen the other three movies and I guess I enjoyed them to some extent, although I do not remember them all too well. This one is a big, expensive exercise in mediocrity. I can’t even imagine hardcore fans of the series being too impressed by it, because it ends with the explicit promise of yet another sequel, meaning that this is nothing but a bunch of filler. The ongoing story here never had much substance to begin with and this filler has even less. What I find most annoying about this type of movie is the desperate support of the pretense of plot, which is as well constructed as a video game introduction. Like a video game, these movies exist for mindless action. So, any effort to mix quality and mindlessness will be futile, because no such marriage is possible. Either strive for greatness or go all out for the thrills. Also, I don’t really see much point in having a heroine that has no weaknesses whatsoever. If we know that this superhuman thing can overcome any obstacle she encounters, where’s the suspense? Well, frankly, there is no effort to accomplish anything but project a cool image which is done well, I suppose, but that’s not saying much.
I feel really bad for people like Kate Beckinsale when I see them in movies like this. For all anyone knows, she could be a truly great actress, but we can’t ever find out if she only agrees to appear in movies that require nothing of her but to look good in an illogically designed action suit thing. She must have made the decision at some point that immediate popularity was worth not having to take the risks that could have made her memorable. This movie will not stand any test of time. Besides the fact that it is about as entertaining as watching someone else playing a game you don’t care about, which, if you missed the sarcasm, isn’t entertaining at all, it is a genuine pain to actually watch because of the visual limitations of 3-D. If we would all stop paying the extra three dollars for these dimly lit monstrosities, maybe the studios would realize they don’t bleeding work.
3/10
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