The Avengers (2012)

It's already been four years since Marvel's movie version of Iron Man caught such an incredible fire with the public, with The Dark Knight still being its only rival as the world's favorite superhero movie. This sparked a series of similarly slick, dependable, and forgettable action movies based on comic book characters, all of which have been gradually hinting at an eventual crossover film, which we now have as The Avengers. As your typical summer blockbuster superhero action flick, it seems to be doing well. As the follow-through to years of sneaky build-up, I can't imagine even die-hard comic book nerds being completely satisfied. As a movie, it just plain sucks. This is only the second film that TV legend Joss Whedon has directed after Serenity, the wrap-up to his Firefly series that I am now convinced was a creative fluke. That may be a little harsh, because Whedon is obviously comfortable with the big budget and chaos the film requires, but that doesn't make the material any better. Whedon wrote the movie as well and the screenplay is less than threadbare. That villain from Thor has come to Earth wanting to wreak havoc and Iron Man, Captain America, the Hulk, Thor, and a couple other people stop him.

My patience for these rotten things has run out. They prosper because they are so utterly bland, which is what the people want. They don't want to see anything different or "weird," so they flock to every one of these things and like the fact that they can sit in the dark and not be affronted by something they might not understand. In other words, the general public is like a bunch of four-year-olds eagerly anticipating the next fairy tale in the book, and not the elaborate, creative kind. I like using my brain. It hurts me to have to sit for two and a half hours and not use it while a bunch of buildings collapse and metals clash and people fly through the air. I am just plain tired of watching movies that rely so heavily on computers to create illusion of reality that reality doesn't even make a cameo. Everything in The Avengers is fake and unconvincing, from the extremely expensive effects to the poorly written one-liners. Once you've seen one big metal whale, you've seen them all. Of course, nobody can expect Shakesperian importance out of every blockbuster, but couldn't there be any effort at all? I can feel Robert Downey, Jr, a reasonably good actor, sleepwalking through his sarcasm. I can sense Mark Ruffalo trying to act naturally, the way he always does so disastrously. Chris Evans' Captain America is by nature so boring that he gets lost in the destruction. The rest of the cast spends their time chewing scenery in an attempt to make an impression. The result is a nauseating mess.

I know a great number of people loved this movie. I am aware that it wasn't made for someone like me who just doesn't care about any of it. But if it was a good movie, it would have made me care. Instead, it settled for business as usual, and I've already seen that. It was a loud, shiny, in-your-face thriller that managed to be as pointless as this review. Pretty much the entire nation already loves the movie, leaving my negativity out in the cold. I would suggest to those people that they think about what they saw and re-evaluate it. Wasn't it just a bit dissapointing? Wasn't it all just a bit pointless? Didn't it make you feel just a bit stupid? Now, I want you to tell me all about that big movie that everybody in the world saw and loved in the summer of 2001. This one's just as memorable.

3/10