Ted (2012)

Ted is the first motion picture from Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane, who writes, directs, and provides the voice of the title character, a living teddy bear. It is exactly what it sounds like. You already know if it's something you would like, or something you would hate, but I'll continue anyway. Mark Wahlberg stars as the adult version of a little boy named John, whose Christmas wish brought Ted to life. He has been given an ultimatum by his girlfriend Lori, played by Mila Kunis. If he doesn't stop hanging around Ted, who is a bad influence because he doesn't do anything but sit around getting high, she will leave him.

Like I said, you already know what kind of movie this is, and probably what style of humor it displays. How much you like Family Guy will probably determine more or less how much you like this movie, because it relies so much on a specific brand of humor. These jokes are mostly from two categories: pop culture references that will be outdated in no time at all and potty jokes. Now, I can't sit here and say that I disapprove of the latter, not after I've written extensively about how Mel Brooks and Kevin Smith made vulgarity an art form. I can say that there are good and bad ways to use it, both ways being utilized here. However, I don't think the pop culture jokes have any place in a movie that expects to last any period of time, and they are used excessively. In short, I am very much torn between the fact that this movie entertained me and even made me laugh on several occasions, but was also very stupid. Let me say that there are times when I enjoy MacFarlane's style in his big shows and here, and times when it grates on the nerves. I could easily be persuaded to label the guy as funny, but only until the point at which he isn't. Am I making sense? Yeah, well, there's no easy way for me to critique something that I can so easily go either way about.

The best way to put how I feel is to point out that there were members of the audience at my screening gasping in fear at some particularly perilous situations undergone by an animated teddy bear. Just because I didn't connect with the movie past a few throwaway chuckles, doesn't mean the same thing goes for everyone else. Those who are offended by crude, racist, sexist, or religion-related humor should go see Brave. Those who would laugh at the very idea of someone having a bowel movement on someone else's living room floor... I just can't finish that sentence. You get the point.

7/10