Olympus Has Fallen (2013)

Oh, well, here we go again. I am faced with the task of offering my opinion on yet another blockbuster action thriller that everybody seems to love, but which I can’t turn a blind eye towards. Olympus Has Fallen does indeed fall and then lies there rotting before our eyes for a couple hours. It is stupid entertainment at its idiotic finest, one of those movies whose plot can barely be relayed by its fans later, but oh, how exciting it is. It all goes down like this. One fine morning, those pesky Koreans decide to overtake the White House, an attack that leaves the front lawn strewn with bodies and the acting president (Morgan Freeman, as if you hadn’t already guessed) and his team quite befuddled as to how to handle the situation. In walks a lone former secret service agent (Gerard Butler) who single-handedly takes out pretty much the whole villainous army and saves the President (Aaron Eckhart) and his son. This is one of those movies where characters say things like, “America doesn’t negotiate with terrorists!” just like that, inflections and all.

I know a lot of people like this movie, though I believe it’s only a matter of time before they forget all about it, as they always do with movies of the week like this. I, however, just can’t handle this much stupidity in one sitting. I can understand and appreciate movies that just exist solely as fun, and they don’t really require greatness in terms of plot, acting, production, etc. But this is ridiculous. For example, this movie conforms to the same ploy that the equally awful Red Dawn remake that just came out on disc used: that of the “idiot villain.” I don’t understand what the Koreans are waiting for. The story revolves around the fact that they must get three codes from certain government leaders that together activate all of America’s nuclear weapons. Firstly, what? Secondly, it takes them the entire length of the movie to actually get around to doing this, for unexplained reasons. This little army, including its leader, spends its time making vague anti-American speeches and wandering around like lost zombies just waiting to be slaughtered by our hero. Butler (I don’t remember his character’s name and it doesn’t matter because he’s as charismatic as a dung pile.) defeats his enemy without even trying. Even that would be forgivable if--- 1. We had any reason to actually like the hero, rather than simply rooting for him because the movie told us to, and 2. If the movie was actually fun to watch, ala Die Hard. No, no, it has to be deadly serious throughout, which makes it seem all the more stupid.

Olympus Has Fallen is one heck of a stinker and yet it will make a profit. That’s because it is loaded with just enough fast pace, slick editing and slow-motion flag-waving patriotism to trick the masses into thinking it’s worth something. It was specifically made for an audience made up of those who either cannot think during movies or simply choose not to. At one point in the movie, a government agent is revealed in very dramatic fashion to, in fact, be one of the bad guys. When this happened, a woman at my showing loudly gasped, “Oh! He’s a traitor!” Duh, lady.

3/10