Recent Movie Round-Up!!!!!!

A couple weeks ago, I went on vacation and got behind on EVERYTHING, so I forgot to mention that I liked Ant-Man, even after all my ranting beforehand. But, anyway.

The best new movie is Mission: Impossible-Rogue Nation, a really fun flick that actually deserves to be a blockbuster. It gets right what so many action movies get wrong. That is, instead of merely being an extended montage of chaotic things happening really fast, it creates individual episodes of mounting tension, episodes that are both old-fashioned in set-up and modern in delivery. In other words, it is always interesting and fast-paced and energetic, serving a plot that has real characters, intrigue, and humor. I don’t have any experience with the TV series, but surely this new movie does it justice, and it’s certainly better than the other movies in the current franchise. If you haven’t seen it yet, just go already. A-

Also good, but in a completely different way, is Mr. Holmes, which stars Ian McKellen as a 93-year-old retired Sherlock Holmes who is trying to keep his memory from disappearing by conjuring up the details of a mystery that Watson had documented particularly wrong. McKellen makes a very real and sympathetic character not like any version of Holmes ever portrayed, remaining remarkably convincing even when the movie jumps back and forth in time. This is a very somber and deliberately paced story, more concerned with logistics than excitement, which is exactly the kind of movie a real-life Holmes would want. A-

Also good, but in yet another way, is Welcome to Me, in which a mentally unstable woman played by Kristen Wiig wins $86 million in the lottery and uses it to make a vain and bizarre talk show about herself. This is a very weird movie, as it doesn’t really care if we like or relate to its characters, just so long as we’re laughing at them. And I sure did. Wiig is a special kind of wacky here, because she is playing insane solely for the humor of it, yet still isn’t cruel or embarrassing. Pitiful and sad, occasionally, but still funny. James Marsden and Joan Cusack are also good co-starring as execs at the TV studio who are just trying to salvage the whole mess and come out ahead. A-

And then there’s Ant-Man, which was co-written by its star Paul Rudd, making Rudd the first superhero actor to also be creatively involved with his movie. I mention this because Ant-Man has a sincerity and an eagerness that many similar films lack. Whereas, say, the Avengers movies truly feel like products created for profit, Ant-Man is a full-blooded movie with heart and even whimsy. This is the first superhero movie I have ever laughed during, so it didn’t surprise me to notice that Edgar Wright (who wrote/directed Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World) was also a co-author. It also uses a different mold than its peers, focusing less on whoosh-bang fighting and more on why there’s a fight to begin with. It feels more like a classic crime caper than anything, only really marred by how unconvincing the actual specifics of the plot are, including Corey Stoll’s over-the-top villain. But Rudd is likeable and it’s consistently entertaining. B+

Also entertaining with flaws is Trainwreck, the big-screen vehicle for comedian Amy Schumer, surely the most lovable alcoholic since W.C. Fields. In addition to starring, Schumer wrote the movie in her usual vulgar, self-deprecating style, which is often very funny even when getting into TMI territory. She is supported by an equally funny supporting cast, especially Bill Hader, LeBron James, and Tilda Swinton. While Schumer and her cohorts have great comic timing, director Judd Apatow does not. There are way too many scenes that appear to be improvisation-heavy, which go on for minutes at a time when a brisker pace would have been more welcome. If we could have lost some of the excess fat, this would have been one of the best comedies of the year. Although, it doesn’t really have too much competition, amirite?! B

I also saw Paper Towns, based on a popular teen novel from John Green, the author of The Fault in Our Stars, the movie of which I enjoyed. Paper Towns, though, is grody, as the kids probably still say maybe. It concerns a dopey young man with annoying friends who is trying to solve the Mystery of the Disappearing Neighbor, a brooding girl who he has fallen for. This is an obnoxious movie for many reasons, the biggest of which is that we are supposed to think all the characters are cool and quirky just because they write with random capital letters in the middle of their words (?) and break into the SunTrust building (???). Actually, we’re supposed to take the movie’s word for a lot of things, including LOTS of circumstantial plot devices and other annoying little things like why these characters continue to get along and what anyone sees in the neighbor girl in the first place. You kids can keep this one. Until it runs out of cool in a month, anyway. C

Alas, time did not permit me to see Pixels. Since this counts as a forfeit, I have to give it an automatic A+. Oh, well.
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The following was published on Facebook two weeks ago, but I forgot to put it here:


'Dude Bro Party Massacre III' is the best new movie this weekend, but that’s not actually saying much and it’s only available to download from the official website or iTunes. It’s a parody of bad 80s slasher movies presented as if it had been taped off of late night TV, complete with glimpses of random (fake) commercials. It’s a sometimes hilarious, always ridiculous goof-fest, but at 100 minutes, it’s a little too much for its own good. I laughed though, so whatever. B

I was surprised to discover that 'Minions,' the prequel to the decent 'Despicable Me' movies, wasn’t at all as bouncy, funny, or entertaining as its predecessors. It was pretty blah, actually. I may have smiled a few times, but that’s about it. But, you know what? Kids loved it. I think the minions are cute and maybe even funny in small doses, but children can adore them for hours on end. So, the movie is a success in a way, and is at least watchable. B-

I really like Ryan Reynolds’ performance in 'The Voices' earlier this year, but now I don’t like him again thanks to his usual unbelievability in 'Self/Less,' a fairly entertaining but unoriginal thriller. It joins 'Iron Man 3' in the ranks of movies that supposedly star Ben Kingsley even though he’s only in them for a few minutes. Less critical people than myself will find plenty to enjoy here, though it annoyed me with its plot that is full of moments that are supposed to make us go, “Whoah!” but actually make us go, “Well, duh.” C+

Can we stop with the found footage horror movies, already? Please?! There hasn’t been a good one in 15 years, and 'The Gallows' is no exception. What’s annoying is that the premise of the movie could have worked, but the presentation completely ruins it. Beside the fact that all the shaky camera work makes me physically sick, there’s just no need for it, and the movie has to constantly find reasons for its characters to be holding a camera, which is almost never effective. Add the fact that the main characters are pretty annoying, and, yeah, skip it. C-